Dear Mr. Mole,
I hear you and your family have taken up residence in my backyard. Well, I'm here to tell you that I eat moles like you for breakfast . Don't mess with me. I am a Jersey Dog, and in New Jersey we bury our enemies in the Meadowlands. I know my size may have you fooled but packed into this 15 lb frame are muscles of steel and a very mean bite.
It may look like an underbite to you with your big overbite but it will inflict much pain.. trust me.
If you know what's good for you, I would pack up your family now and move down to Umbria. I'm here to stay and this is my backyard. So beat it mole.....
I'm actually very scared and may wait inside on the couch until you leave.